This time of year is so difficult. It’s dark, it’s cold, and the holidays bring all sorts of mixed feelings. On one hand, there’s the promise of joy and charity and togetherness, and on the other the reality of rampant consumerism and the unrelenting pressures of maintaining a veneer of cheerful holiday spirit, no matter what.
Remember to breathe. Remember to find ease. Remember that your own reality is, in fact, real. Find moments of peace wherever you can.
This, too, shall pass.
When life’s stress is overwhelming, I focus on the things that are right in front of me and eliminate everything extraneous.
In just a few months, I am moving overseas. The magnitude of this change and accompanying stressors have manifested physically: my shoulders are tight, my head pounding, my sleep interrupted.
So this weekend, I picked up a book by Thich Nhat Hanh at a little library, moved my body, and rested. I laughed at dog videos. I snuggled my cats. I noticed the small beautiful things in the quiet of my home, like afternoon light that only lasted a moment.
I read Thich Nhat Hanh’s words: “If you are truly present and know how to take care of the present moment as best you can, you are doing your best for the future already. […] Everything is ok now.”
I also looked to other artists for reminders to take it slow, breathe, and take small steps forward. Morgan Harper Nichols (below, yellow) shares her beautiful art and poetry online, and they always seem to find me at the right time. Humberto Cruz (also known online as iscreamcolour, below, colorful) shares cheerful pep talks.
And over and over again, I am reminded that we never have to climb the whole mountain at once — we are in fact incapable of it. No matter the task, all we ever have to do (all we ever can do) is take the next step. As Hahn says, “My true home is in the here and now.”
So my only task, really, is to do the next right thing, here, in the present, and so move forward, slowly, slowly. And breathe.
Last week, Moorea Seal mentioned in an Instagram story the concept of “evidence of self care”: in her case, a car that she took the time to get detailed, since having a clean space benefits her mental health.
I’ve been thinking about this since.
For me, self care is a tidy living room, a clean load of laundry, shoes on my feet as I talk a walk around my neighborhood, wet hair from a shower, or a nutritious meal on a plate.
When you look around – at your home or your body – what evidence of self care do you see? Do you see evidence of self love? If not, in what tangible ways can you change that?
This post was originally published on the My Peacetree blog. Read more about these archives.
Repeat after me: I will give myself a moment or two of my own time. I will remember that I (and my mental, physical, and emotional health) am a priority. I will be gentle with myself.
I sit on my bed under a downy blanket, fighting procrastination. This past week has been a tough one for me. There have been several things which have been testing me mentally and emotionally and which have been completely preoccupying my mind. Deadlines are ever present. I’m exhausted and have not been treating my body well, resulting in further exhaustion.
What does one do in these situations? Do you, like I do, need reminding that it’s okay to take a step back, take a deep breath, and go slowly?
Sometimes, in all the hurry and bustle and must dos and should dos, I forget to take care of myself. I forget to send myself love, and I forget to be gentle with myself. If you are in a similar situation, dearest, remember that you are a top priority – those To Dos can wait for a moment while you dedicate some time to you.
For a short-term solution, take a quick break in the midst of work – it often allows one to come back refreshed and full of renewed energy. Struggling through a project or task may in fact prevent you from doing your best work or from accomplishing as much as you need to!
Try one or more of these little tricks to boost your spirits and your drive:
After a few minutes’ break, return to the task at hand and see if you are not more clear-headed and better able to focus. I suggest giving yourself at least five minutes of time each hour in order to re-center. Go on, treat yourself to some self-love!
This post was originally published on the My Peacetree blog. Read more about these archives.
Every one of us struggles with our identity at some point.
We question who we are and what we have to give to the world. We compare ourselves to others, and wonder if we truly are unique or if we are merely a drop in the ocean. We face criticisms and complaints from others and from ourselves, and sometimes our faith in who we are – and what purpose we have – is shaken.
We are often told that to recognize and accept the things we treasure about ourselves is immodest.
“I have beautiful eyes.”
“I am a very good guitar player.”
“I am intelligent.”
We can (and should!) accept and celebrate ourselves – and it is not at all wrong to love oneself or to be unafraid to admit it! We can certainly do so in a positive way free from narcissism and arrogance.
We are undoubtedly our harshest critics. There is a quote: “We judge others by their actions, and we judge ourselves by our intentions.”
Only we can see the inner workings of our mind; we experience our darkest thoughts and our most unkind feelings. We censor ourselves to the outer world, but are completely exposed to ourselves, and so we berate ourselves for harsh things we have not said and cruel things we have not done. We often judge ourselves for these unexpressed things – but how unfair that is! “We judge others by their actions, and ourselves by our intentions.”
Pay attention to the kind things you have done and the sympathetic words you have spoken, for actions speak so very much louder than words – especially words that are unsaid.
From today forward, be gentle with yourself. Show yourself love, kindness, and patience – as you would any dear friend. And remember these four Truths – for they are undoubtedly, absolutely, unchangingly true:
