Perfection is a Roadblock

It’s been over a month since I came to this space to share. I started reading Julia Cameron’s The Right to Write to help unblock my brain.

Julia is the brainchild of Morning Pages — three pages of longhand, stream-of-consciousness morning writing, for your eyes only, done as quickly upon waking as possible. She’s a big believer in creation as a practice; as she puts it, she teaches people to let themselves be creative.

So who better to turn to when facing writer’s block?

And here’s what jumped out at me:

We forget the term ‘rough draft’ and want everything to emerge as well-polished gems.

I am a perfectionist. And perfection gets in the way of creation.

Because I have painted and collaged for decades, I have experienced enough creative block in those art forms to know how to get past it. (Show up. Create anyway. Put some paint down. Make some lines. Glue something down.) Soon, I’ve created a couple art journal pages and I’m back in the zone.

But when it comes to writing, I still feel like dabbler, someone new to this creative outlet. And words, unlike visual art, are explicit and communicate a specific thought to the reader. There’s less room for interpretation.

And then I read this:

When writing is about the importance of what we ourselves have to say, it becomes burdened by our concerns about whether the reader will ‘get it’ — meaning, get how brilliant we are.

This has stuck with me.

I want my words to be eloquent and beautifully thought out and clear and perfect. I turn thoughts over in my mind like I’m polishing rocks, hesitant to turn them into written words until they are smooth and shiny, when they will have maximum impact.

I considered how I could begin to change this habit — to write for the sake of writing and publish messy and imperfect thoughts.

And then, on Monday, George Floyd was murdered by those who are supposed to protect and serve him.

And I thought about how I believe that Black lives matter, and how much anguish generations of minorities and especially Black Americans have lived through at the hands of racist institutions, and how I wished I had the words to perfectly express everything I felt.

But we don’t have time for perfection: Black people are dying as white “allies” like me wait for the right words or the right moment.

Julia’s quote could be modified to reflect this:

When condemning racism is about the importance of what we ourselves have to say, it becomes burdened by our concerns about whether the audience gets how brilliant we are.

My promise going forward is to speak out (and write out), imperfectly, against racism where I see it. I will speak to my white family and friends; in white circles, I have power there to change the narrative. I will donate when I can. I will pass the mic to those who are silenced. I will continue to educate myself.

And if you need a place to start, check out these lists full of resources – from books to read to places to donate to how to take action: one, two, three.

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Rod Serling: The Dimension of Imagination

I’ve been watching The Twilight Zone (original series) recently. I’ve seen episodes here and there, but had never seen enough to see the patterns of storytelling and the themes that executive writer and narrator Rod Serling created.

The philosophical questions in the scripts are still hugely relevant to today: identity, morality, success, greed, happiness, love. I highly recommend watching or re-watching some of the episodes if you have the time. Jordan Peele’s newly revived version launched in April 2019, but I haven’t caught any of it yet; I don’t have cable. I’m sure he’s expertly bringing today’s issues to the screen.

Challenging Racist Tropes

It was the 1960 episode “Big Tall Wish” that got me curious and sent me down a rabbit hole into Serling and the history of The Twilight Zone. The the plot centers around an aging boxer, whose young friend wishes for him to win an upcoming fight. What’s extraordinary for the time period is that the episode — which aired in the midst of the Jim Crow era and the heart of the Civil Rights movement — features a majority African-American cast, and is done respectfully and without racist tropes or stereotypes.

Rod Serling seems to have been somewhat an anomaly in the that age: he was a white man who recognized not only the social and racial injustice at the time, but also his own power and influence to change it. Before beginning The Twilight Zone project, he sought to create a television showabout Emmett Till, a black teen brutally murdered in Mississippi by two white men in 1955. The perpetrators were tried and acquitted by an all-white jury.

The powers that be wouldn’t allow Serling to execute the show he wanted, leading him to conceive The Twilight Zone, where he could explore socially controversial issues like race and prejudice through a veil of science fiction.

In the episode “The Monsters on Maple Street”, for example, Serling narrates:

The tools of conquest do not necessarily come with bombs and explosions and fallout. There are weapons that are simply thoughts, attitudes, prejudices – to be found only in the minds of men. For the record, prejudices can kill and suspicion can destroy, and a thoughtless, frightened search for a scapegoat has a fallout all its own – for the children and the children yet unborn. And the pity of it is that these things cannot be confined to The Twilight Zone.

Check out this 20-minute interview with Serling, who speaks about Emmett Till, capitalism and the influence of money on what stories are told, and the power the audience wields. It’s worth a watch.

And if you’re interested, a few links to explore more: As I Knew Him (memoir published by Serling’s daughter a few years ago); a much longer analysis of Serling’s life, creativity, and The Twilight Zone, from The Atlantis; . The Twilight Zone is currently on Netflix.

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