Tag: life

Here’s the Thing

Between a pandemic and relentless capitalist culture — and also this question of “What is your quarantine masterpiece?” that still lingers over my head a year into COVID — I am getting increasingly frustrated with the idea of being consistently productive in the face of such overwhelming circumstances.

In his newsletter last week, Austin Kleon shared this video by Ali Abdaal (titled, not subtly, “How Writing Online Made me a Millionaire”). Yes, Ali’s thoughts are interesting and helpful and inspiring…

… but this still emphasizes an end product that is the result of extreme focus, and at this point in time I find it laughably depressing. If you do everything I do, maybe you can find even find your life partner, Ali says in the video above. Okay.

During the pandemic, I have mastered the art of stacking dirty dishes high in the sink. My cats are still alive. Netflix has been nearly conquered. Most of the time, both my day pajamas and the night pajamas are clean.

Sometimes I paint. Sometimes (maybe once a month, if I’m feeling it) I journal.

And most of the time, I feel like I’m failing, wasting time, and that I need to be more productive in order to prove my worth.

So — to Austin and Ali and everyone else who is driven and consistent and has a huge amount of work to show for it: I am seriously impressed. And sure, I am jealous. And I’ll get there someday, but for now, I’m going to keep myself and my furry companions alive and get through as best I can.

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Things of Note, 2020

In no particular order, and inspired by Austin Kleon and Malaka Gharib:

  • Rescuing baby rats from my car engine and a stray cat from my sidewalk. Meeting my neighbors and graciously accepting their help. Adapting to a new normal, zoomies and all.
  • Reading more than 20 books, including Deacon King Kong, Where the Crawdads Sing, Zealot, Parable of the Sower, and Austin Kleon’s trilogy.
  • Focusing on my mental and physical health. Shedding 20 pounds. Resuming therapy. Running a 5K.
  • Reuniting with my fiancé for the first time in 10 months because of the pandemic. Climbing Koenigswinter. Exploring the empty botanical garden in the rain. Playing Secret of Mana. NYE in three languages.
  • Connecting with other artists. Weekly art nights with Viv. Live art journaling with Katie Licht. Austin Kleon on Zoom. Malaka Gharib zine workshop.
  • Going on daily walks. Seeing goldfinches on thistle and the Saturn/Jupiter conjunction. Taking an accidental six-mile hike at Lake Roland. Getting to know the neighborhood dogs by sight.
  • Dad beating cancer and celebrating his 60th. Flying kites on the beach. Orange crushes. Mini golf in masks.
  • Exploring new interests and establishing new habits. Starting a logbook. Using the Clever Fox planner for the first time. Obsessing over Elvis and learning how to play “Don’t be Cruel” on the guitar.
  • Seeing my mom for the first time in a year. Bailey. Walking in the rain at Long’s Park. Sharing food on the front porch.
  • Visiting friends safely. Watching Hocus Pocus on a projector screen outside. Walking with Liz and Micaela. Thanksgiving with the Gramcocks.
  • Creating COVID & HOBBES and keeping it up for 100 days. Finally finishing the Busy Day Book art journal.
  • Practicing random acts of kindness. Supporting BLM and those struggling because of COVID. Providing transportation for a stranded family in the middle of July. Helping with a pharmacy bill.
  • Getting an iPad.
  • Obsessing over Elvis and learning “Don’t be Cruel” on guitar.
  • Bearing a long and stressful election season and celebrating its conclusion with friends. Starting the February debate inside sharing food and watching the last debate outside in masks. Taking a walk when the election was finally called, and grabbing food in the evening.
  • Supporting artists: Emma Howell, Aydin Hamami, Emily Cucalon, Tyler Thrasher, Se7en Captures, Mona Schaffer, Pamela J. Bates, Chocolate and Steel, Stacey Bradley, JennyJen42.
  • Receiving surprise mail from Jana Clinard Harris. Cards from my stepmom and notes from my cousin. Care packages. Collecting more handwritten notes.
  • Pre-COVID outings: Dad’s gallery show in York, PA. Seeing Wicked at the Hippodrome. Visiting the History of Black Abstract Art exhibit at the BMA.
  • Creatively engaging with loved ones from afar. Family games over Zoom. Surprise virtual birthday party planned by my brother. Long calls with Amin. Regular check-ins with elementary school classmates and reconnecting with old friends.
  • Challenging perfectionism and the fear of starting.
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Life Lately

The weight of the world is heavy. We’re (still) fighting a pandemic in the midst of a civil rights movement, our leadership is questionable at best and destructive at worst, and there’s no end in sight.

Still, there are glimpses of joy to be found: thunderstorms, art, daily walks, magnolias, fireflies, backyard picnics with friends.

If you’re interested, here’s what I’ve been reading, listening to, and watching lately:

Hope you’re hanging in there. Wear a mask, please.

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Wonderful, Silly, Amazing Life

This post was originally published on the My Peacetree blog. Read more about these archives.

Last Tuesday evening, I was in a car accident. I remember the headlights coming straight towards me, growing alarmingly larger.

Miraculously, I’m not seriously injured. I walked away with a small scrape and several bruises, but the reality of it is that I was quite literally two feet away from death: the car crashed into the front right wheel well, a very short distance from where I was sitting in the front passenger seat.

It is this thought that is slowly growing to recognition in my mind – how by such narrow margins I’m walking, talking, and breathing today – and, to be honest, it’s incredibly difficult to wrap my head around. I’ve lost two close friends in the past few years, and another sweet friend recently had her own awakening to mortality. I am finding that I am more deeply saddened by these experiences than my own, and this surprises me.

Life is a funny thing. We grow so comfortable in our bodies and with the tiny details in our lives: the routine of coffee in the morning, the uncertainty of picking out the perfect outfit for a night out, the hustle to finish a project before a deadline. These little things become so important to us and often become the main focus of our lives; it’s so easy to forget how enormous the Universe is and how beautiful the world is.

We forget to enjoy food, music, and art as if it were the first time we were experiencing it. We forget how incredibly lucky we are to be here, experiencing this: with all its ups and downs, bad hair days, sadnesses and sufferings and mistakes, life is a grand adventure, filled with the most amazing things and the most lovely people.

Our mere existence is more wondrous than we could ever imagine.

Today I invite you to look at the world with new eyes and consider, no matter your circumstances, how magnificent it is to be alive.

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